At one point or another, I promise you that everyone has felt the way you do—and your feelings are completely normal, valid, and fair. TL;DR: Everyone has pre-sex jitters no matter how much chill they seem to have, and honestly, you should totally embrace the awkwardness. But just so you can make your first time as pleasurable as possible, here are some tips from sex therapist Vanessa Marin and psychotherapist Nicole Tammelleo. Talking about sex with a new partner is a must. And don't worry, you don't have to bring up this convo the moment you match with someone on Tinder, but you should bring it up before you take that trip to pound town, says Engle.
Skip navigation! Story from Sex. You get to decide what "counts. It's a social construct we made up, and the person you are after sex after is the same as before sex, just like you're the same person before an after you ate ice cream for the first time.
Years ago, when I broke up with my first serious boyfriend — who I'd been in a relationship with for nearly four years — he wasn't just a guy I dated for a long time; he was the first guy I ever had sex with as well. He also became sexually abusive over time, and sexually assaulted me on more than one occasion, so having sex with someone new after all of that was both freeing and frightening. During the months following our breakup, I mostly had a lot of fun sleeping with new people; but I also found that, as fun and exciting as having sex with a new partner can be, it can also be kind of stressful. I mean, you're naked, something hilariously awkward is bound to happen before the sex is over, and even if you're just trying to have a casual, one-time hookup, sex with someone new still requires a certain level of trust that's not always easy to give — especially if your sexual history hasn't been the happiest. Fortunately, though, there are ways to make sex with someone new awesome.
Ask anyone whom you feel comfortable enough with about their first time having sex. That being said, it is a part of life. The fact of the matter is, if it is your first time having sex and you are even slightly sober, it will be awkward. Pro Tip: Try laughing it off right off the bat the second you feel start to feel awkward. I would hope not.