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As the lover, the Dom is loving and, when appropriate, stern. He must recognize that he is the only source of pleasure for the sub. He must see to it that this area is not neglected. The Dom should, when appropriate, be gentle, supportive, and tender to the sub. It is about the Dom caring for the well-being of the sub.
One of my fantasies was to watch my wife with a black guy. One time while we were having sex, I told her, "I have a fantasy to share with you that drives me crazy. Would you enjoy fucking another guy.