Women s fantasies

Sexual fantasies are kind of like handbags: no matter how many are hanging in your closet, you usually end up sticking with the same one. Now that I've exhausted that analogy, let me tell you where I'm going with it: So that you and, let's be honest, me can update your fantasy collection, I asked women which fantasies get them to the finish line without fail. Jessica O'Reilly tells Bustle. The most common sexual fantasies , according to one University of Montreal study, are sex in an exciting place, sex with a new partner, and being submissive. That doesn't mean people who think about these things want to do them; it just means they're arousing to imagine. And the image running through your head can really make or break a sex session, whether it's by yourself or with a partner.

People fantasize about a lot of things: a no-expenses-barred vacation in Bora Bora, finally getting promoted to the corner office, one full day where no one wants or needs a single thing from you… And fantasizing about those things are fun, because you just might get them one day. And, sometimes, those fantasies can be a little troubling—like, say, fantasizing about having sex with someone besides your partner. Confused about what your sexual fantasies might mean? These are a few of the most common ones.

Other estimates have been much higher think low 90s , but the survey we cited also found that the most common fantasies women have during masturbation tend to be about their current partners or exes, and involve internet erotica or BDSM. Investigating and acknowledging the endless array of female fantasies helps us see that women and female-identified folks are more sexually creative than we give them credit for. Viewing them as people with their own uniquely pervy and exciting desires helps us unravel the common—though mistaken—assumption that women are the more frigid gender.

Sexual fantasies come in all different shapes and sizes. For others, it could mean hanging a ceiling sex swing , grabbing some handcuffs , securing a blindfold , and buying leather lingerie. But remember, no matter how elaborate your sexual fantasy is, every sexual act in and out of the bedroom should start with a conversation—and yup, this means you should be having the sex talk with your partner regularly. This ensures safe, consensual sex. The second thing you can do is easy: Just talk to your partner.